I cannot believe I did this!!!!!

Well my friends, I made a huge mistake last night. HUGE MISTAKE!!! Yesterday was a tough day for me. It was Canada Day, but given the thousands of unmarked graves that have been uncovered at former residential schools across the country, we were not celebrating. We spent the day educating friends and family on the atrocities this country has perpetrated against the Indigenous population, and as I am sure you can imagine, those are not always the easiest conversations. I had a migraine by 5pm that was absolutely raging and I needed a coffee… but I wanted something cold! And since we weren’t doing a big celebration, we decided to have a mini indulgence by ordering ice caps and donuts in from Tim Hortons.

Now, full disclosure… I have not done the research to determine if the ice caps and donuts are vegan. I think the ice cap is because I have it made with almond milk. Oh man, so after I wrote that sentence I went and did some research and nope, donuts at Tim Hortons are NOT VEGAN… so I made an even bigger mistake than I originally thought!!! Wow, what an epic failure!

So, anyways let me get on with the story… we received the order and to my surprise the bag was A LOT heavier than anticipated. Andrew opened the bag and found that my Iced Cap was in there with the donuts, but so were 2 soups, 2 buns and 2 hashbrowns!!! Whaaaat? This never happens to us! We are always the people that order food and get less than what we ordered! My first thought was a logical one… were the soups anything I can eat? The first soup was chicken noodle, so no. But the second soup appeared to be a vegetable soup. Andrew tested it and confirmed there was no meat in the soup. I was elated!! I couldn’t believe we were getting a whole free dinner! Also, it appears the hashbrowns are vegan but have not found conclusive evidence about the buns that come with the soup.

I was so excited about getting the free food, that I didn’t even realise what I did next. It was literally like I was on cruise control. Like my animal brain took over. You know how sometimes you are walking somewhere, or driving and you get to where you are and can’t really remember 100% how you got there because your brain is just in another zone? THAT is what happened. I opened the bun up, took one of the little butters out of the bag and slathered it onto the bun. ALL THE WHILE TALKING ABOUT HOW EXCITED I WAS TO GET A VEGAN-FRIENDLY SOUP DELIVERED FOR FREE!

I sat down, ate the entire bun and half the soup, along with the hashbrown and was feeling so good about myself when it finally hit me… I had eaten butter!!! WTF??? Why would I do that?? I haven’t even wanted butter. No cravings, no thoughts, no issues! I even bought vegan butter and haven’t even bothered to open it yet so why would I sabotage myself by eating butter of all things??? I just don’t understand.

And as I have not learned, it’s even worse that I know that while the donuts are fried in vegetable oil, they may contain eggs or dairy so I really went off-book last night. Looking back on it, it seems crazy now that I cared at all about what was in the soup.

Man, this is tough some days! But it’s my own fault and I am just going to have to work harder.

Am I vegan yet? Nope, not even close!